There’s no doubt that separation conversations can be an emotional experience for everyone involved. Some team members might take it well, while others (quite understandably) will not.
It’s important to prepare for managing different reactions to redundancy which could include shock, denial, anxiety, panic, anger, remorse, guilt, and believe it or not, perhaps even relief.
Communication techniques
Here are tools to help respond to any reaction you encounter:
01
Active listening
- Listening and making appropriate eye contact shows a high level of care towards the impacted individual. This means carefully observing both verbal and nonverbal responses and not passing judgement in any way.
- If there are points that have been misunderstood, these should be clarified directly.
- Respectfully acknowledge the individual’s feelings and the issues they raise, however, it’s important not to lose objectivity by being drawn into agreeing with their views or feelings.
- Show empathy with phrases like, “I can see you are distressed”. But it’s best to avoid phrases like; “I know how you feel” or “this is bad for me, too”.
- Always be honest and stick to the facts. You can certainly empathise, but it’s important to remain objective.
02
Moments of silence
Silence is a useful monitoring device and gives time to allow information to be absorbed. Resist the desire to speak, so that the individual is encouraged to voice their feelings and given the space to do so.
03
Repetition of key messages
The ‘broken record’ technique is a useful method of increasing understanding and can also help to counteract resistance. It’s all about repeating the key points throughout your conversation. Doing so helps to strengthen your points and reduce misinterpretation.
Reaction Handling Methods
Individuals do not always react as you would anticipate. It’s important to remember that the focus is on the impacted employee’s feelings, not your own. Even though the conversation may stir up emotions for you, it’s essential to separate your feelings from the situation.
Following are four common scenarios and methods to handle each reaction.
| Reaction | Response Method |
|---|---|
| Total disbelief. They say nothing and are in total shock. | Try to draw the person out with empathy. “I can see this is quite a shock for you…” Check their understanding and reconfirm the primary message. |
| Escapist - The individual wants to get out of the office immediately. | Try to stop their exit by continuing with the discussion. Explain why their position was impacted and allow the individual to vent their feelings. |
| Anger - This could include verbal abuse. | Allow the individual to vent their feelings. Do not get defensive. Remember, they are angry at the situation, so listen but don’t make any promises. |
| Denial - Refuses to accept the information, explains you’ve made a terrible mistake, may want ‘to just get back to work” | Repeat the key message and ask questions to explore their understanding of the situation . |
| Sadness, grief or tears | Tyr to calm the person down. Just be ‘with’ them, be patient and sit quietly. |
Activity
No matter how many times you’ve had to do it, or how well-prepared you are on the day, it’s still gut-wrenching to deliver this news. Many leaders feel solely responsible for the livelihoods of their team members and for the health and well-being of their families.
It’s worth spending time to prepare for the discussion and think through potential scenarios. These techniques for dealing with different reactions to change are designed to be practically applied.
Take a moment to work through the sample scenarios below and consider how you might respond to some of the more difficult reactions.
- “It’s not fair.”
- “How am I going to pay the mortgage?”
- “This is related to my performance rating from last year, isn’t it?”
- “This is because you don’t feel that I fit into the team.”
- “Why me and not…?”
- “Now that I know what you think of me, let me tell you what I think of you.”
- “I don’t know how the business will be able to perform this function without me.”
As a manager, you should never feel at risk during a separation conversation. If you experience an extreme reaction, then the discussion should immediately be brought to a close and the individual directed to HR, the JobAccelerator career transition consultant and/or Employee Assistance Provider.