Understanding thinking patterns and mind chatter
Understanding thinking patterns and mind chatter
8 minutes
Do you ever think that your brain feels like it’s working non-stop even when you really don’t feel like thinking? There’s always this train of unnecessary thoughts, endless worries, and self-doubts that never stops. And it can be tiring. This seemingly unending mental noise can be exhausting and paralysing, making it difficult to make decisions, take action, or simply be at peace.
This is one of the challenges when it comes to building resilience. The way in which we “think” can make or break us, because our thought patterns and cognitive processes significantly influence how we perceive and respond to challenges and setbacks.
When you’re feeling stressed, it’s easy to fall into unhelpful patterns of thinking. We all have a little voice in our head that describes our world, creating ideas, forming opinions, making comments and even criticising decisions, actions, and outcomes. This running commentary or “mind chatter” is what we call self-talk or automatic thinking.
Automatic self-talk affects the way we experience life and is coloured by our perceptions, attitudes, and beliefs. It affects the way we feel, the decisions we make, and the actions we take. This then affects the way we think about ourselves (self-image) and feel about ourselves (self-esteem). Ultimately, thoughts are either empowering or limiting.
When our automatic self-talk is optimistic (positive, complimentary, and kind) we generally have good self-esteem, a healthy self-image and we are able to deal well with criticisms and setbacks. Our problem solving is more effective and our levels of commitment and persistence to a task are higher—which is the foundation for most success.
However, problems arise when our self-talk takes on a pessimistic tone (negative, critical, and self-abusive). Negative thinking causes us to stop trying and often sees us talk ourselves out of opportunities to succeed before we even start. This is called self-sabotage. Unfortunately, negative self-talk is so powerful it erodes our self-confidence and can lead to anxiety and depression. It also affects our self-esteem, productivity and ability to learn.
There are four key types of unhelpful thinking patterns we can fall into, especially during times of stress.
We make assumptions about other people and their intention all the time. However, in some circumstances our imaginations run riot. We leap to conclusions about other people’s motives and attitudes based on very little evidence. We are open to all kinds of misunderstandings and paranoid projections. The fact of the matter is that we have no way of knowing for certain what another person is thinking unless they choose to tell us.
Some people have strong beliefs about what they or others must or should do. (For example, reflecting on a meeting and thinking ‘I shouldn’t have done that’ or ‘I should have done that’). “Should” statements can create a habit where you start to question your own decisions and actions, or those of other people. This “should-ing” can consume your thoughts and distract you from what you are doing and impact confidence.
Even though these statements may seem harmless to some, they have the potential to be dangerous. They represent negative ways of thinking and can often lead a person to feel frustrated when they don’t achieve what they believe they should.
This cognitive distortion involves taking a single negative event or detail and extrapolating it to broader contexts, often leading to an unrealistic and pessimistic view of the situation.
For example, a man loses a game of scrabble and thinks to himself “typical! I never win at anything”
A young girl gets teased at school and concludes, “Everyone hates me”!
An elderly lady reads about a mugging in the local paper and ruefully concludes that “No one is safe these days…”
All of these are examples of generalisations in which an individual draws some far reaching conclusion – based on one piece of unpleasant information. There are two forms of this kind of trap:
- Personalising is a trap when you make events and activities personal to you when they are out of your control. (For example, “I got all red lights on my way to work today; I must be cursed.”)
- Over-generalising is the trap of assuming that one negative event reflects your entire life. (For example, “My kid didn’t do what I asked of him, so I’m a horrible parent.” A far-reaching conclusion – based on one piece of unpleasant piece of information).
Catastrophising is a cognitive distortion where an individual expects the worst possible outcome in every situation and perceives events as far more threatening and disastrous than they actually are. Here is an example:
I can’t find my purse ………..Oh no! I must have left it in the supermarket ….someone is sure to have stolen it…..Maybe it was stolen by someone who was looking over my shoulder when I got the money out of the cash dispenser in which case they know my PIN number and will probably already have emptied my bank account or stolen my identity…that means I won’t be able to pay my bills this month…what if the bank decides to repossess the house? We’ll be ruined. We’re going to end up out on the street…. How could I have been so stupid?
This explains someone who looks at life pessimistically and wildly exaggerate a sense of threat. Things will not only be bad, they will be really bad. They allow their imagination to run riot with frightening scenarios.
Rumination involves constant, repetitive thoughts about a perceived problem, where significant attention is focused on trying to solve it. Unlike fleeting thoughts, ruminative thoughts are fixations that interfere with daily functioning. These mental compulsions are internal so they often go unnoticed.
Most people engage with intrusive thoughts in an attempt to understand or solve them, and this process can involve analysing the thought, trying to rationalise it, or attempting to counteract it with another thought. However, this just leads to a cycle of repetitive thinking.
For example, someone who receives critical feedback at work fixates on it instead of acknowledging the feedback and moving on. He or she repeatedly goes over specific points of the feedback, replaying the conversation and thinking about every detail, particularly any negative aspects, even though they were minor and meant to be constructive. The employee begins to interpret the feedback in the worst possible light, believing that the manager thinks he or she is incompetent. This creates a loop where the employee continues to dwell on the feedback and the perceived failures.
Staying positive and avoiding negative self-talk requires conscious effort and the development of healthy mental habits. Pay attention to your inner dialogue. Notice when you engage in negative self-talk and identify the triggers.
When you notice a negative thought, ask yourself if it’s based on facts or assumptions. Challenge its validity and replace it with a more balanced, realistic perspective.
Ask yourself questions like “Is this thought helpful?”, “What evidence do I have for this thought?”, and “What would I say to a friend in this situation?”
By applying these strategies, you can cultivate a more positive mindset and reduce the influence of negative self-talk in your life.
